MAKING FRIENDS WITH MOTHER NATURE

Oh my aching muscles! I planted trees, bushes and flowers for the first time yesterday and even my hair follicles are screaming in pain. But...I'm happy. Go figure. I've always heard how "satisfying" digging in the dirt can be. I've heard my foliage loving friends refer to it as "therapy". A lot of hogwash I thought, until I tried it for myself yesterday.

My friends Karen and Wendy decided my yard need some TLC and staged an intervention to be sure it got some. We spent all day Tuesday...and I do mean all day from 10-6, at various nurseries around town and out of town, looking for just the right plants to put in front of my house. The best deals and largest selection we found were in Angier, at Broadwell and Old Stage Nurseries. Acre upon acre of trees and bushes to choose from. Lowest prices around. However, you need to be gardening savvy, cause there is no one to give you any help or advice. You drive through, get what you want, load it up and pay on your way out. Luckily I had my two "Mother Nature Gurus" with me, so this was no problem.

For flowering plants we hit Kmart, Lowes and Home Depot. Looking at these made me wish I'd paid more attention in 7th grade Latin class. I couldn't begin to pronounce so many of the plant names that seemed to just roll off the tongues of my companions.

Thursday we started at 8a.m. with a little more shopping and then...dirt digging. I even used a pick-axe at one point. Me...swinging a pick axe...very scary picture to many of my friends I'm sure and one of the reasons for all the moans and groans this morning.

I have to admit, when I stepped outside my front door this morning and looked at all our completed handiwork, I sighed with contentment and suddenly...I wasn't so sore anymore.

ZONING LAW

My husband, while sitting at his computer this morning, told me he was "in the zone". What exactly does that mean? Inquiring minds want to know. So of course I had to look up the word "zone". Isn't that what any good wife would do in these circumstances.

Here's what I found. Zone is actually a pretty flexible word. It is used in these areas: Geographic, Geology, Geometry, Sports, Postal delivery or time. It's used to describe specific areas or districts and there is even an "archaic" definition.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is...the next time you tell someone you are "in the zone", be more specific. Exactly what type of zone are you talking about? Perhaps even "step out of your comfort zone" when deciding what "zone" you want to be in.

Have you zoned out yet?

READERS SUCK

"These are the strongest contact lenses we can order for you. You'll have to supplement with 'readers' when needed." REALLY? Really Mr. Optometrist? Are you actually telling me my eyeballs are so old you can't find a contact lens that I can enjoy 20/20 vision with anymore?"

I am now the proud owner of five pairs of "readers". I hate those little suckers! I store one pair in my nightstand drawer, one in my purse, one in the kitchen drawer, one in the drawer of the livingroom coffeetable and one in the glove department of my car.

I want to start a movement (and I hope you will join me). NO menus, newspapers, books, websites, directions on processed food boxes, magazines or contracts of any kind can be written in any font size less than 14 and 16 is even better! They can't be written on a colored background either! I don't care how 'pretty' you think the color pink or blue looks for your webpage background or how classy your think black makes your website look. For the over 40 crowd...you suck! I want bright lighting in restaurants! If you don't want to destroy your freakin' ambiance, then hand me a a small flashlight with my menu so I can read it. You can just leave that flashlight with me so I can see what you're serving me later.

Okay...whew I'm glad I got that out of my system. Now I'm going to go perch my lovely kitchen readers on the end of my nose and see if I can read the directions on the box of brownies I want to make. Sigh.........

DETERMINATION

Will Shakespeare wrote a very short play entitled "Comedy of Errors" and I had a front row seat in my own production of this tale last night. I simply wanted to go celebrate the birthday of a friend. Sounds simple enough doesn't it? All I had to do was get in my car, drive to Wake Forest and let the partying begin.

Fate stepped in though and decided she'd have good laugh at my expense. I was running late and had just gotten on 540 when I noticed my gas tank was on "MT". I didn't want to push my luck so I got off at the next exit and pulled into the closest gas station. As I was standing there, with a smile on my face, pumping gas...I heard the lock in my car engage. WTH? Smile erased, I frantically tugged on the driver's door. I was locked out! My car betrayed me and locked me out. I could see the keys in the ignition, my purse sitting on the passenger seat (with my cell phone it) and my reflection in the window looking baffled and incredulous.

I headed into the convenience store and asked the clerk if I could borrow his phone. He was nice enough to hand it to me and I began the long frustrating task of trying to reach my husband to bring me his spare key. After several tries I finally reached him and he hurried to my location to let me in. WHEW...let the evening begin.

"Oh no you don't," said Mistress Fate as she laughed at me. I thought I knew exactly where we were meeting. Although I'd never been to the place before I had driven by it numerous times. However, I didn't know that they had recently torn the building recently and relocated the restaurant. Arrrggghhhh...GPS was telling me the new destination was 21 miles away, I couldn't reach my friend on her cell, but I was determined I was going to meet up with my friends. Fate be damned! So I started following the GPS directions and called my friend a couple of more times. Third time was the charm...she picked up. I was headed in the wrong direction. Thank God she was able to give me directions to get me to the festivities. They had a glass of wine waiting at the table for me when I arrived. Nothing ever tasted so good! So despite Mistress Fate's best efforts...I had the last laugh and a good time celebrating with my friends.

NEVER ENDING CLEANING DETAIL

I didn't want to let go of my soft, fluffy, comfy pillow this morning. I'm glad I've taken on the duty of letting my daughter's dog out every morning or I probably would still be laying in bed. Just that act of getting up and standing on the back porch while Dolce "takes care of business" each morning is enough to at least turn my engine over. I may not be going full speed, but I'm not laying under the covers, accomplishing nothing either.

I have to clean house today. I HATE that job. It stays clean for a couple of hours when you're done and then it becomes dirty again just to spite you. It's an endless rotation of dusting, scrubbing, vacuuming...okay...I'm depressing myself. If I'm not careful I may end up back in bed clutching that squishy pillow again.

So enough talk. I'm off to grab my arsenal of cleaning products, broom, mop and duster and get busy. Unless someone out there wants to talk me out of it............

MANI ANYONE?

I was bad today. I said, "screw the budget" and got a pedicure. Since being laid-off I've been doing my own mani/pedis, but it's just not the same. Do my nails look good afterwards...sure, but my back aches from leaning over to get to my tootsies and there's all that setting up the foot bath, polish, trimming tools and towels. There's no lovely leg and foot massage either. Not as relaxing when I'm rubbing my own calves. Nope doesn't do a thing for me.

So today I decided, because I've been feeling down lately, that I needed a little pick-me-up, so I splurged on a pedicure. That hour was like heaven! I always thought I'd hate getting pedis cause I don't really like people "playing" with my feet. One time trying it was all it took to get me totally hooked. These manicurist aren't playing with my feet. They are serious about getting my little piggies looking the best they possibly can and I could honestly fall asleep during the whole process.

I thought I'd feel guilty about this little indulgence, but I don't. Not in the least. I wish all our problems in life could be solved with a nice coat of nailpolish and a quick massage!

SCOOTER GUY

I try to find something every day that gives me a good laugh. Without laughter...your soul dies.

Yesterday, I was heading to Six Strings Cafe in Cary to listen to a friend of mine, Mathew Conklin, sing at their open mic nite. I wanted to be there at 7:00, but got a late start and knew I wasn't going arrive when I wanted to. This can make me a little tense at times...okay, okay it can make me rabid! As I was sitting at the red light at the entrance to my subdivision, hands gripping the wheel, already cursing anyone who was going to slow me down...I glanced to my left to see if could 'turn right on red' and here comes a guy on a scooter, going about 35mph...putzing along through the lite. He looked to be about 40+, but the huge motorcycle helmet on his head hid most of his face. He wore khakis and a lite weight argyle sweater in various shades of blue.

At first he really annoyed me. I mean I was in a hurry and here he was just barely moving along. When he finally passed me I whipped around the corner onto New Hope Road and glanced over to give scooter guy a dirty look. As I turned to look at him, he was staring down at his watch and slowly shaking his head. I ROARED with laughter. Here's this guy, obviously trying to be somewhere at a certain time (as I am) and he is riding a 35mph maximum speed scooter and looking at his watch like that will enable him to go faster. I couldn't stop laughing.

Sometimes we can hurry so much that we miss the joyful things in life. I giggled till I got to Capital Blvd after seeing that site. I arrived at my destination, relaxed, happy and in a good mood. I had a lovely evening, Matt sounded great and all was good with the world. Thanks scooter guy...you're my hero!