UNEMPLOYED...AGAIN

I’m unemployed again. I was let go from work at noon on Friday. I'm trying to stay upbeat about it...hated the job anyway, they were a bunch of jerks, depressing place to work, I would have looked for something else eventually...but even with all that...it is still such a horrible blow and makes me feel tainted somehow and unworthy. Other than the lay-off I suffered in January 2009, I have never been dismissed from a job.

I wasn’t given any concrete reason. I didn’t steal anything, get on the internet, talk on the phone incessantly, arrive late, go home early, take long three martini lunches…none of that. The only thing they would say was…”you’re just not the right fit.”

When I started, they hadn’t had a permanent Admin for over six months. They advertised this job three times before finally hiring someone…me. I worked so hard at getting everything in that office running like a fine oiled tool and now someone else will reap all those benefits. I was given no training, never told exactly what my duties were or how to implement them. The next person won’t have to suffer as I did because I put together an Office Procedures manual that outlines every little thing that needs to be done and how to do it. I had to research and find out all this information for myself, with no help from the Raleigh office. All my answers I got from the corporate office in Massachusetts.

Even realizing that this company has gone through Office Assistants, like wild fire the past two years, I still took this job and I thought I'd be the "one". Oh well, guess I was the "one", but just another "one". Another one kicked to the curb.

I am really trying not to let this get me down and to push past the feelings of rejection and anger, but it’s a hard pill to swallow. It sure was nice having that paycheck for a few brief weeks. Tightening the purse strings again! Onward and upward…………

TIME TO WRITE AGAIN..........

It’s been a long time since I’ve blogged. I’m working now and I’m so exhausted when I get home that I don’t have the energy to be witty, creative or entertaining. I do miss sharing though and the process of writing always warms my heart, so I’ve decided that I need to “suck it up” and start producing again.

Two of my brothers came for a visit this past weekend. I haven’t seen them for several years. One of them is battling lung cancer and although, to others, he may look strong, I could see the toll this horrible disease is taking on him. He never complained while he was here and kept apologizing for cutting outings short and needing to rest. I was hiding my tears. I admire him so much for the efforts he is making in fighting his way through this.

Both brothers have left and headed to Myrtle Beach to visit with our other two brothers. This weekend I will be heading out to join all of them. My brother with the cancer wanted this reunion. He feels like this might be the last time he’ll get to see all of us. This will be the first time in about 15 years that we have all been together and we weren’t attending a funeral.

Due to circumstances in our upbringing, we are not a close knit group, but we do love each other in our own way. As we all grow older, I find that we seem to be seeking out the solace and the comfort that comes from knowing that you have family out there sharing the world with you. I look forward to seeing everyone and I pray that my brother will win his battle and that we will soon have another gathering celebrating him being cancer free.