MAKING FRIENDS WITH MOTHER NATURE

Oh my aching muscles! I planted trees, bushes and flowers for the first time yesterday and even my hair follicles are screaming in pain. But...I'm happy. Go figure. I've always heard how "satisfying" digging in the dirt can be. I've heard my foliage loving friends refer to it as "therapy". A lot of hogwash I thought, until I tried it for myself yesterday.

My friends Karen and Wendy decided my yard need some TLC and staged an intervention to be sure it got some. We spent all day Tuesday...and I do mean all day from 10-6, at various nurseries around town and out of town, looking for just the right plants to put in front of my house. The best deals and largest selection we found were in Angier, at Broadwell and Old Stage Nurseries. Acre upon acre of trees and bushes to choose from. Lowest prices around. However, you need to be gardening savvy, cause there is no one to give you any help or advice. You drive through, get what you want, load it up and pay on your way out. Luckily I had my two "Mother Nature Gurus" with me, so this was no problem.

For flowering plants we hit Kmart, Lowes and Home Depot. Looking at these made me wish I'd paid more attention in 7th grade Latin class. I couldn't begin to pronounce so many of the plant names that seemed to just roll off the tongues of my companions.

Thursday we started at 8a.m. with a little more shopping and then...dirt digging. I even used a pick-axe at one point. Me...swinging a pick axe...very scary picture to many of my friends I'm sure and one of the reasons for all the moans and groans this morning.

I have to admit, when I stepped outside my front door this morning and looked at all our completed handiwork, I sighed with contentment and suddenly...I wasn't so sore anymore.

ZONING LAW

My husband, while sitting at his computer this morning, told me he was "in the zone". What exactly does that mean? Inquiring minds want to know. So of course I had to look up the word "zone". Isn't that what any good wife would do in these circumstances.

Here's what I found. Zone is actually a pretty flexible word. It is used in these areas: Geographic, Geology, Geometry, Sports, Postal delivery or time. It's used to describe specific areas or districts and there is even an "archaic" definition.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is...the next time you tell someone you are "in the zone", be more specific. Exactly what type of zone are you talking about? Perhaps even "step out of your comfort zone" when deciding what "zone" you want to be in.

Have you zoned out yet?

READERS SUCK

"These are the strongest contact lenses we can order for you. You'll have to supplement with 'readers' when needed." REALLY? Really Mr. Optometrist? Are you actually telling me my eyeballs are so old you can't find a contact lens that I can enjoy 20/20 vision with anymore?"

I am now the proud owner of five pairs of "readers". I hate those little suckers! I store one pair in my nightstand drawer, one in my purse, one in the kitchen drawer, one in the drawer of the livingroom coffeetable and one in the glove department of my car.

I want to start a movement (and I hope you will join me). NO menus, newspapers, books, websites, directions on processed food boxes, magazines or contracts of any kind can be written in any font size less than 14 and 16 is even better! They can't be written on a colored background either! I don't care how 'pretty' you think the color pink or blue looks for your webpage background or how classy your think black makes your website look. For the over 40 crowd...you suck! I want bright lighting in restaurants! If you don't want to destroy your freakin' ambiance, then hand me a a small flashlight with my menu so I can read it. You can just leave that flashlight with me so I can see what you're serving me later.

Okay...whew I'm glad I got that out of my system. Now I'm going to go perch my lovely kitchen readers on the end of my nose and see if I can read the directions on the box of brownies I want to make. Sigh.........