I worry too much. As I get older I worry far more than I did when I was just a pup. I don't know if it's because I've lived life long enough now to know about how things can get totally f*ed up...or if my brain has just become packed with so much crap through the years that I can't stop over processing everything.
I can't remember a day in the last few years that I haven't found something to be concerned about. Of course everything my daughter does terrifies me. My son I barely hear from and maybe that's good cause I'm sure I'd find something disturbing in his world too. I worry about my husband, I worry about my dog, I worry about my daughter's dog, I worry about our finances, I worry about the moles digging holes in our backyard, I worry about not being able to find just the right shoes to go with the beautiful torquoise dress I've recently purchased, I worry the "said dress" was way to expensive. I worry!
When I was in my twenties and even my thirties I didn't worry. I had far less money, a very insecure home life, a husband who never seemed to know where he wanted to work or live and two children to be concerned about...but I didn't worry. I took life in stride. I enjoyed it. I laughed in the face of danger. I was always willing to try something new. Hell, I even picked my son and daughter's pacifier up off floors, licked them off and put them back in their in their mouths. I was fearless, living on the edge!
Worrying started around the time I turned 40. I suddenly comprehended what a dangerous, scary world we live in and I became uptight and all hot and bothered over every little thing. It may have had something to do with heading toward a divorce or it could have been as simple as riding the roller coaster at Carowinds Amusement Park. I'm not sure what triggered it. I just know once the gun was cocked...there was no turning back.
I made a promise to myself this January. I'm going to try something new every month. Step out of my comfort zone and try something I've never done before. I find this terrifying, but I am determined. I mean what's the worst that can happen? Oh, oh now I've got myself worrying again...about trying to overcome my worrying.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Thursday, March 25, 2010
GET A BUCKET AND BAIL YOUR OWN BOAT
Do you have a Facebook account? If you do...you know how there will be ads on the right hand side of your page when you open it? Well one of those ads today kinda got me revved up and I don't mean in good way. I'm a wee bit up tight today as it is, but this just got me fuming.
There's a picture of a pair of bare feet. On the pair of bare feet are a pair of makeshift sandals made from two liter soda bottles. The bottles have been flattened, a hole punched in the end where the top would attach and two more holes on either side. Into these holes the wearer has knotted scrap pieces of cloth, forming a sort of "flip style" shoe. Under the picture of this pair of innovative sandals is a caption which reads: New Government Regulation, US Residents under $65,000K option to remove 1/2 of debt ($10,000 in debt to qualify)
So what burned me up about this ad? Where do I begin? First...that picture is of a pair of feet from Haiti. I actually saw it on the news and posted in a magazine, to show how things are so bad there, they are making two liter footwear. In America these sort of sandals would be considered unique, avant-garde and could actually become a popular trend. In Haiti, they are a necessity to many of the population. Using this picture and pretending this is an American is just wrong on so many levels.
The amount...$65,000 a year is ridiculous! If you make $65,000 a year...unless you're the freakin' octomom, with 14 mouths to feed...you should certainly be able to pay your bills. If you make $65,000 a year and you can't pay your bills cause you're so far in debt it's impossible, then you should be ashamed of yourself for putting yourself into that situation and you don't deserve a "bail-out". There are families of 4+ making a lot less than that and still managing to NOT go into debt, so far over their heads, they can't make their payments.
Everyone wants an easy way out these days. Too bad. These are tough, tough times we are living in. Some more difficult than for others, but suck it up people. It is obscene to think anyone with an income of that kind would not be able to pay off $10,000 in debt and they CERTAINLY wouldn't be wearing pop bottles on their feet...unless of course Dolce&Gabana or Prada was selling them.
I'm just saying.................
There's a picture of a pair of bare feet. On the pair of bare feet are a pair of makeshift sandals made from two liter soda bottles. The bottles have been flattened, a hole punched in the end where the top would attach and two more holes on either side. Into these holes the wearer has knotted scrap pieces of cloth, forming a sort of "flip style" shoe. Under the picture of this pair of innovative sandals is a caption which reads: New Government Regulation, US Residents under $65,000K option to remove 1/2 of debt ($10,000 in debt to qualify)
So what burned me up about this ad? Where do I begin? First...that picture is of a pair of feet from Haiti. I actually saw it on the news and posted in a magazine, to show how things are so bad there, they are making two liter footwear. In America these sort of sandals would be considered unique, avant-garde and could actually become a popular trend. In Haiti, they are a necessity to many of the population. Using this picture and pretending this is an American is just wrong on so many levels.
The amount...$65,000 a year is ridiculous! If you make $65,000 a year...unless you're the freakin' octomom, with 14 mouths to feed...you should certainly be able to pay your bills. If you make $65,000 a year and you can't pay your bills cause you're so far in debt it's impossible, then you should be ashamed of yourself for putting yourself into that situation and you don't deserve a "bail-out". There are families of 4+ making a lot less than that and still managing to NOT go into debt, so far over their heads, they can't make their payments.
Everyone wants an easy way out these days. Too bad. These are tough, tough times we are living in. Some more difficult than for others, but suck it up people. It is obscene to think anyone with an income of that kind would not be able to pay off $10,000 in debt and they CERTAINLY wouldn't be wearing pop bottles on their feet...unless of course Dolce&Gabana or Prada was selling them.
I'm just saying.................
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
BACK TO SCHOOL
As some of you know I've been on unemployment for awhile. I received a notice in the mail, about a month ago, from the Employment Security Commission, telling me I could sign up for school if I wanted to. I finally decided today to go check out my options.
Although I have a degree in Communications, it doesn't seem to be helping me much right now and I thought it might be fun to study something else. I went to Wake Tech's North campus to see what courses they had available. I couldn't find the enrollment office, but did find the Continuing Education office. When I went in the girl behind the desk had a big smile on her face.
"How can I help you?" she said.
"I'm interested in finding out what educational programs you have." I said.
"Grab a brochure." she said.
"No, I want the curriculum programs. Where is the enrollment office?" I said.
The smile disappeared. She looked at me with a puzzled expression. "You want the curriculum programs?" she asked.
It was then I had an epiphany. Holy crap, I've gotten old!! When did that happen? I pasted a tense smile on my face and said, "I know I'm old, but I'd like to go back to school and get another degree."
"No, no...you're not old," she said, but her eyes told me I was. "The enrollment office is in the next building."
I scurried off, trying not to notice all the young faces surrounding me in the hallway, and headed into the next building. I found the enrollment desk. There were two twenty-somethings ahead of me and I waited patiently. When they left the girl behind the desk smiled at me and said, "Yes? How can I help you."
"I wondered if you had a brochures of the classes you offer?" I said.
"You mean the Continuing Education classes?" she said.
"No I mean the Curriculum courses. I want to go back to get a degree." I said.
The smile disappeared.
"All the classes are listed on-line. We don't print handbooks anymore." she said.
"Ugh, okay thanks." I mumbled and slinked off realizing I hadn't needed to publicly humiliate myself.
Do I really want to go back to school? I don't know for sure, but I do know I didn't want to feel "old" today and unfortunately I did. How did that 90 year old woman who just graduated college stand it? Maybe I'll give her a call...........
Although I have a degree in Communications, it doesn't seem to be helping me much right now and I thought it might be fun to study something else. I went to Wake Tech's North campus to see what courses they had available. I couldn't find the enrollment office, but did find the Continuing Education office. When I went in the girl behind the desk had a big smile on her face.
"How can I help you?" she said.
"I'm interested in finding out what educational programs you have." I said.
"Grab a brochure." she said.
"No, I want the curriculum programs. Where is the enrollment office?" I said.
The smile disappeared. She looked at me with a puzzled expression. "You want the curriculum programs?" she asked.
It was then I had an epiphany. Holy crap, I've gotten old!! When did that happen? I pasted a tense smile on my face and said, "I know I'm old, but I'd like to go back to school and get another degree."
"No, no...you're not old," she said, but her eyes told me I was. "The enrollment office is in the next building."
I scurried off, trying not to notice all the young faces surrounding me in the hallway, and headed into the next building. I found the enrollment desk. There were two twenty-somethings ahead of me and I waited patiently. When they left the girl behind the desk smiled at me and said, "Yes? How can I help you."
"I wondered if you had a brochures of the classes you offer?" I said.
"You mean the Continuing Education classes?" she said.
"No I mean the Curriculum courses. I want to go back to get a degree." I said.
The smile disappeared.
"All the classes are listed on-line. We don't print handbooks anymore." she said.
"Ugh, okay thanks." I mumbled and slinked off realizing I hadn't needed to publicly humiliate myself.
Do I really want to go back to school? I don't know for sure, but I do know I didn't want to feel "old" today and unfortunately I did. How did that 90 year old woman who just graduated college stand it? Maybe I'll give her a call...........
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
WINKLER WARS
Ahhhh, the joys of marriage. (is that an oxymoron?) My husband I can fight about the stupidest little things. I know I should save my energy for the big wars, but lately I find myself getting pulled into these tiny battles and losing my mind.
Our most recent struggle was over whether or not we (meaning my husband) should change out the toilet seat in our foyer bathroom. The current seat, had a couple of chips in it and I wanted a fresh one installed. Seems like a fairly straight forward, simple thing...doesn't it? No way! My darling husband could see no reason to throw away a perfectly good toilet seat just cause it had a flaw. I on the other hand thought it made the bathroom look worn and tacky and I wanted it GONE.
My husband manages a Kmart store. It's not like he had to take a trip somewhere else to grab a new toilet seat. I asked him to pick one up while he was at work. I asked for three days, til I finally wore him down and he produced my new seat. He took said seat into the bathroom and propped it up against the wall, still in it's packaging.
I tried to ignore it sitting there...screaming at me..."HA here I am, but I will NEVER replace the seat you're currently sitting on". For a week I kept my mouth shut. Then, one day, while sitting gazing at my beautiful new bright white toilet seat I reached down and looked at the store receipt, still taped to the package. It read $7.97. That's right $7.97. For $7.97 my husband is giving me hissy fits about not replacing our old toilet seat.
Let the BATTLE begin. I marched into my husband's man-cave and insisted that he replace the downstairs toilet seat today! I'm not sure why he likes to wait till my eyes are bulging from my head and I'm so angry I can barely force the words past my lips, but he does seem to take some perverse pleasure in seeing me in this state. However, things do tend to get done when the "she devil" appears. Within a few minutes I had my nice new shiny toilet seat waiting for me to try it out.
This is the nicest toilet seat I think I've ever used! It's surface is slick and smooth and it's truly comfortable to sit on. As women we always sit, so comfort is important to us. I love my new toilet seat and as soon as the smoke clears...I'm gonna see if we can install one just like it in our master bathroom for $7.97! DING, Round Two!
Our most recent struggle was over whether or not we (meaning my husband) should change out the toilet seat in our foyer bathroom. The current seat, had a couple of chips in it and I wanted a fresh one installed. Seems like a fairly straight forward, simple thing...doesn't it? No way! My darling husband could see no reason to throw away a perfectly good toilet seat just cause it had a flaw. I on the other hand thought it made the bathroom look worn and tacky and I wanted it GONE.
My husband manages a Kmart store. It's not like he had to take a trip somewhere else to grab a new toilet seat. I asked him to pick one up while he was at work. I asked for three days, til I finally wore him down and he produced my new seat. He took said seat into the bathroom and propped it up against the wall, still in it's packaging.
I tried to ignore it sitting there...screaming at me..."HA here I am, but I will NEVER replace the seat you're currently sitting on". For a week I kept my mouth shut. Then, one day, while sitting gazing at my beautiful new bright white toilet seat I reached down and looked at the store receipt, still taped to the package. It read $7.97. That's right $7.97. For $7.97 my husband is giving me hissy fits about not replacing our old toilet seat.
Let the BATTLE begin. I marched into my husband's man-cave and insisted that he replace the downstairs toilet seat today! I'm not sure why he likes to wait till my eyes are bulging from my head and I'm so angry I can barely force the words past my lips, but he does seem to take some perverse pleasure in seeing me in this state. However, things do tend to get done when the "she devil" appears. Within a few minutes I had my nice new shiny toilet seat waiting for me to try it out.
This is the nicest toilet seat I think I've ever used! It's surface is slick and smooth and it's truly comfortable to sit on. As women we always sit, so comfort is important to us. I love my new toilet seat and as soon as the smoke clears...I'm gonna see if we can install one just like it in our master bathroom for $7.97! DING, Round Two!
Monday, March 22, 2010
THE LUMP
My husband and I sleep in a queen size bed. Not my choice. I would love to have a King, because I love to be able to ssspppprrreeeaaadddd out when I sleep. We have an older mattress, which I refuse to replace unless I can get a King size. There's a nice indentation on either side of the mattress...where he lies, where I lie...and then a nice little lump in between.
A few months ago, my husband discovered that sleeping on the "lump" made his back feel better. So now he likes to sleep smack dab in the middle of the bed. Which meanS I am relegated to my small indentation area only. No spreading out. Just sleeping in my little space and waking up stiff and sore in the morning.
Before he discovered the "lovely lump" in the middle of our mattress, I used to enjoy throwing one leg over that lump in the middle of the night and gettin' comfy. Now when I feel the urge to cuddle with the lump (the mattress, not my husband), inevitably my husband is already sleeping on it, so I miss my chance.
Why am I even discussing all this? Because my husband is out of town for the week and last night I could have spread out all I wanted and I didn't. I couldn't. It just didn't seem normal with him not there. In fact, I barely slept at all. If I couldn't push him around or grumble about not being able to get comfortable, it just didn't seem like a normal sleeping night. I'm exhausted! The only good thing about not being able to sleep last night was when I talked to my husband this morning and he told me he didn't sleep well either...and he had a KING size bed!! Guess that mattress didn't have a lump in the middle.
Maybe I'll try sleeping on the lump tonight and see how that feels. Of course, if I like it, then we'll be fighting for "lump rights" when he gets back...but I'm staking my claim while I can!
A few months ago, my husband discovered that sleeping on the "lump" made his back feel better. So now he likes to sleep smack dab in the middle of the bed. Which meanS I am relegated to my small indentation area only. No spreading out. Just sleeping in my little space and waking up stiff and sore in the morning.
Before he discovered the "lovely lump" in the middle of our mattress, I used to enjoy throwing one leg over that lump in the middle of the night and gettin' comfy. Now when I feel the urge to cuddle with the lump (the mattress, not my husband), inevitably my husband is already sleeping on it, so I miss my chance.
Why am I even discussing all this? Because my husband is out of town for the week and last night I could have spread out all I wanted and I didn't. I couldn't. It just didn't seem normal with him not there. In fact, I barely slept at all. If I couldn't push him around or grumble about not being able to get comfortable, it just didn't seem like a normal sleeping night. I'm exhausted! The only good thing about not being able to sleep last night was when I talked to my husband this morning and he told me he didn't sleep well either...and he had a KING size bed!! Guess that mattress didn't have a lump in the middle.
Maybe I'll try sleeping on the lump tonight and see how that feels. Of course, if I like it, then we'll be fighting for "lump rights" when he gets back...but I'm staking my claim while I can!
Sunday, March 21, 2010
RUM RUNNERS FUN
The 70's were reborn at Rum Runners last night. I attended a gathering there planned by the organizers of a meetup group my husband and I belong to called "Triangle Couples". Unfortunately, last night my husband wasn't able to attend the event, but that didn't keep me from going solo and partying with my friends.
Rum Runners is a fun bar, located in downtown Raleigh, incorporating dueling pianos to keep the crowd constantly entertained with lively "sing along" tunes. The piano players rotate, so there is never a dead moment in the merriment. Last night everything was geared toward the 70's and the crowd was thoroughly enjoying it. Many of the customers wore 70's clothing to add to the retro atmosphere. Requests were taken by the piano players if a tip was included. The bigger the tip...the higher up the "playing chain" your tune was placed.
A basic over 40's crowd arrived early in the evening, with the entertainment starting at 7p.m. A younger crowd began arriving around 10:00p.m. and the place started to get really crowded, but it also pumped up the energy level with the influx of all the additional people.
My only problem with the evening was in the form of an over six foot tall, bulging muscled bouncer who seemed to enjoy intimidating the crowd. He made it a point to turn the two tables, I was sitting at with my friends, on an angle, which made sitting at the tables very awkward. When we turned them back to their original settings, he came over...turned them back on an angle, slammed unoccupied chairs into place, then stormed off. It was the rudest thing I'd ever seen happen in a club of any kind I've been too. We left. Maybe he was hoping to run us off. We had stopped ordering drinks and all our requests had been played so we were no longer tipping the piano players. I think he wanted us to go, so the places we were monopolizing could be filled by new paying customers. However, we had dropped quite a bit of cash in the place and didn't like the idea that as soon as they could no longer wring any more money out of us...we were made to feel uncomfortable, so we'd leave. We considered complaining to the manager, but decided to just leave quietly.
Will I go back to Rum Runners again? Probably. It was fun right up till the last twenty minutes we were there. I will even recommend Rum Runners to friends. However, if the same unwelcoming behavior is repeated when I visit again...I will take the time to complain to the manager and not return.
Rum Runners is a fun bar, located in downtown Raleigh, incorporating dueling pianos to keep the crowd constantly entertained with lively "sing along" tunes. The piano players rotate, so there is never a dead moment in the merriment. Last night everything was geared toward the 70's and the crowd was thoroughly enjoying it. Many of the customers wore 70's clothing to add to the retro atmosphere. Requests were taken by the piano players if a tip was included. The bigger the tip...the higher up the "playing chain" your tune was placed.
A basic over 40's crowd arrived early in the evening, with the entertainment starting at 7p.m. A younger crowd began arriving around 10:00p.m. and the place started to get really crowded, but it also pumped up the energy level with the influx of all the additional people.
My only problem with the evening was in the form of an over six foot tall, bulging muscled bouncer who seemed to enjoy intimidating the crowd. He made it a point to turn the two tables, I was sitting at with my friends, on an angle, which made sitting at the tables very awkward. When we turned them back to their original settings, he came over...turned them back on an angle, slammed unoccupied chairs into place, then stormed off. It was the rudest thing I'd ever seen happen in a club of any kind I've been too. We left. Maybe he was hoping to run us off. We had stopped ordering drinks and all our requests had been played so we were no longer tipping the piano players. I think he wanted us to go, so the places we were monopolizing could be filled by new paying customers. However, we had dropped quite a bit of cash in the place and didn't like the idea that as soon as they could no longer wring any more money out of us...we were made to feel uncomfortable, so we'd leave. We considered complaining to the manager, but decided to just leave quietly.
Will I go back to Rum Runners again? Probably. It was fun right up till the last twenty minutes we were there. I will even recommend Rum Runners to friends. However, if the same unwelcoming behavior is repeated when I visit again...I will take the time to complain to the manager and not return.
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