WORRY WORT

I worry too much. As I get older I worry far more than I did when I was just a pup. I don't know if it's because I've lived life long enough now to know about how things can get totally f*ed up...or if my brain has just become packed with so much crap through the years that I can't stop over processing everything.

I can't remember a day in the last few years that I haven't found something to be concerned about. Of course everything my daughter does terrifies me. My son I barely hear from and maybe that's good cause I'm sure I'd find something disturbing in his world too. I worry about my husband, I worry about my dog, I worry about my daughter's dog, I worry about our finances, I worry about the moles digging holes in our backyard, I worry about not being able to find just the right shoes to go with the beautiful torquoise dress I've recently purchased, I worry the "said dress" was way to expensive. I worry!

When I was in my twenties and even my thirties I didn't worry. I had far less money, a very insecure home life, a husband who never seemed to know where he wanted to work or live and two children to be concerned about...but I didn't worry. I took life in stride. I enjoyed it. I laughed in the face of danger. I was always willing to try something new. Hell, I even picked my son and daughter's pacifier up off floors, licked them off and put them back in their in their mouths. I was fearless, living on the edge!

Worrying started around the time I turned 40. I suddenly comprehended what a dangerous, scary world we live in and I became uptight and all hot and bothered over every little thing. It may have had something to do with heading toward a divorce or it could have been as simple as riding the roller coaster at Carowinds Amusement Park. I'm not sure what triggered it. I just know once the gun was cocked...there was no turning back.

I made a promise to myself this January. I'm going to try something new every month. Step out of my comfort zone and try something I've never done before. I find this terrifying, but I am determined. I mean what's the worst that can happen? Oh, oh now I've got myself worrying again...about trying to overcome my worrying.