I DON'T WANNA GROW UP

I was watching America's Got Talent last night. Definitely not one of my favorite shows, but I love Howie Mandel and he is a judge this season (say "good-bye" to the Hoff).

Howie has this amazing ability to really LOVE life. He always has this wondrous expression on his face, like he's seeing or hearing something for the first time and he finds it interesting and amusing. The other two judges are very quick to hit their "stop" buttons, but Howie sits and stares with amusement and sometimes laughs outloud at what we think are those mundane or ridiculous acts. He is truly entertained.

I used to view life this way. I found amusement and a chuckle in so many of the things in my life and the world around me. I observed more. I slowed down and took more time to look around me. I believe I enjoyed more.

Some people might say, "well you've grown up," and they are probably right, but it sucks. I don't want to be a grownup if it means I can't find wonder and joy in the little things or the absurd things happening around me. When did I become so cynical and judgmental.

When I was working every day I used to look for something humorous or interesting on my way to work. It could be a billboard, a business sign, a person at the bus stop, a crazy looking vehicle or someone walking down the road. Sometimes I would share what I'd seen with my fellow co-workers, but always I would have that image to look back at and smile throughout the day. It's a great way to start your day. Try it...you may like it.

As for me...I'm gonna get back on that "Peter Pan" train and appreciate the silly again!

"OW" AND I SAY THAT WITH FEELING

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry alone. Of course, if you have just recently had surgery...I suggest you do neither. Don't laugh, cry, burp, bend over or try to move the 50 lb. coffeetable. Cause it won't feel good. Any of it. Trust me on this!

I've actually been avoiding comedies since my surgery. I miss laughing, but the absence of pain is worth the absence of giggles! I don't even want to talk to my funny friends and I really need my comedic husband to stop with the wisecracks that make me clutch my belly in agony as my body shakes with laughter. Is he funnier now that I don't want him to be or was he always like this?

Tragedies and drama is another form of entertainment I'm trying to avoid. I'm a crier. I cry over sappy commercials. I can just fast forward through those though, as 90% of all our TV viewing is done via DVR. I was grabbing my belly and the tissues simultaneously as I watched the finale of GLEE Friday night. These kind of shows must be shunned for at least another week.

This leaves action shows only as a possible outlet. Of course even those need to be monitored. Don't want to watch any "gut wrenching" scenes. Stress can cause my stomach muscles to contract.

Oh hell, maybe I'll just read. No funny books though or tear jerkers. Hmmm, just staring off into space is always an option!

NOT ON MY LIST OF FAVORITES

Surgery of any kind if NOT going on my list of favorite things. I can't believe that people have been back to work two days after having their gallbladders removed. I feel like such a wimp, but I can barely straighten up. Today I get to take a shower though, so maybe I'll feel better after that.

I've had so many wonderful friends wishing me well. One of them even brought food...which my family really appreciated. They better make it last a few more days cause I don't intend to be at the stove again till at least Monday.

Just posting a quick note to let everyone know...I made it through, I'm sore as hell and I'd like to say, "I'm not taking this laying down"...but the truth is...I AM!

POST SURGERY BUCKET LIST

Tomorrow is the BIG day. I go "under the knife" for the first time ever. In celebration of that occasion I decided it was high time I made a bucket list. I figure if I have a list of things to do then everything will have to go smoothly so I can accomplish my set purpose in the universe. Besides, I ain't getting any younger, although I have to say I don't feel as old as that face in the mirror looks.

I'm not sure what normal people (I know I don't belong to this crowd) put on their bucket lists. Probably things like traveling to exotic places, eating strange and weird foods, apologizing for wrongs they've committed or finding old family members or friends, giving back to the world somehow. Yeah, that's not for me.

Just a few items on my bucket list: (1)learn pole-dancing...this one's for my hubby really, although pole dancing is good exercise, (2)visit the sky diving simulator...this is as close as I will ever get to jumping out of a plane,(3) grow an herb garden and try to keep it alive for at least six months, (4)get at least one thing published...even if it's just a letter to the editor in the Nfreakin'O, (5)create a piece of art for our home...painting, sculpture, playdough animal...something artsy, fartsy I can point to and say, "I created that"(6)finally get all my pictures organized in albums...I may die before I finish this, (7)get one of those water massages they give at the mall and maybe even get my teeth whitened and eyebrows threaded at the same mall...the same day (8)climb a rock wall...this one is a lot like work, so I'm putting it on the bottom of my list.

I'm sure I'll be adding to my list as things occur to me...but for now...I need to take a nap, so I'll be ready to tackle these projects...post surgery.

STEP ASIDE BIG...COLOSSAL HAS ARRIVED

This blog is the product of a direct challenge from my husband. He saw a show the other night about squid...the gigantic versus the colossal squid to be exact. He's now somewhat obsessed with the word "colossal" and dared me to blog about his new favorite word. So here goes sweetie......

Have you noticed that our food...especially snack foods are getting smaller, while our mascara keeps getting bigger? It's all psychological bull crap, but the manufacturers for our cookies, crackers, etc. think if they make them smaller we will think if we are consuming less calories. Nahhhhh, we're just gonna eat twice as many of those little suckers! The manufacturers of mascara on the other hand want us to think huge and instead of having "gigantic" lashes (which paints kind of a gross picture I think) we now can have "colossal" lashes (thank you Maybelline).

The definition of gigantic is: very large; huge. The definition of colossal is: Extraordinarily great in size, extent or degree. Colossal even has a cooler sounding definition doesn't it.

Years ago we were happy with the word big...then large...huge...on to gigantic and now colossal! Let's all jump on board the colossal train. Use it in a sentence at least once today. It'll make you smile I guarantee it!

WALK A DAY IN HER SHOES.........

On a serious note...yesterday evening I was sitting in my car, in the Triangle Town Center parking lot waiting for my daughter to meet me for some shopping. I'd brought a magazine to look at to pass the time. I was amazed to get the last regular parking spot right where the handicap spaces started.

I was pretty deeply engrossed in the article I was reading, tipped my head up for just second to take a sip from my travel mug and froze. There was a woman in the handicap spot one row over from me. She was just closing the gate on the scooter rack attached to the back of her SUV. I watched her...wondering how she would get in the vehicle now that her scooter was safely stored away and she didn't have anyone there to help her. The driver's door was open, so she must have opened that before loading the scooter. (I missed this) She stood there for a minute, then placed both hands on the scooter rack and slowly inched her feet around the side of her ride. She kept her hands firmly placed on the side of her SUV while she painfully and very, very slowly moved toward the open door, stopping every few seconds to catch her breath. It took her almost two minutes to go from the back of her car to the driver's door. When she got to the door, she stood there for awhile, head bowed and then reached inside the vehicle and pulled out a small stool. Placing the stool on the pavement she stepped onto it, paused for a few seconds, slowly turned herself around and using the steering wheel pulled herself into her car. She sat with her feet dangling for several seconds, then grabbing her legs, pulled them into the SUV and turned herself around in the seat. Finally after another break, she held the steering wheel and lowered herself out to grab her stool and pull it inside, before driving away.

I wanted to go help, but I was literally frozen in fascination at such a brave, courageous woman. I don't even want to take a walk around the block for exercise and this woman drove herself the mall and managed to get herself headed back home again. What a lazy, ungrateful person I've become.

Besides the fortitude this woman showed, she looked lovely. Her hair was styled in a blond bob and she wore a deep orange top over a flowy black and white skirt and black shoes. So not only did she take the time to go to the mall by herself, even though she was handicapped, she took the time to look nice while she was there. How many of us think about how we're dressed while we're out shopping?

Resolution to myself: Stop being too sluggish to fix myself up before leaving the house. Stop complaining about every little thing that's not absolutely perfect in my life. Stop bitching when I can't find a parking space close to the door. Think about this woman and be forever grateful for my strong legs and body and stop worrying about the fat around my middle or my ever increasing cellulite. How trivial! I've been moaning a lot lately, but I can't for the life of me figure out why I have anything at all to bitch about. How about you?

PEDRO SAYS...........

My hubby and I always try to make our road trips fun. Sometimes we rent a book on tape to listen to, we play the child's game of naming items we see starting with each letter of the alphabet, we name a certain model car to look for and score points for each one we point out.

On our recent trip to Florida we got caught up in the South of the Border signs. (SOB for true fans) For my Northern friends you may not know what I'm talking about, but SOB is a landmark on I-95 just over the North Carolina/South Carolina border in Dillon, SC. It is sometimes referred to as a "tourist trap", but I prefer to think of it as a "tourist complex". They have lots of shopping,(imagine 13 different styles of backscratchers), places to eat, a motel with over 300 rooms and a campground. The area is marked by a huge sombrero 200 hundred feet in the air which can be spotted way before you actually arrive at the exit.

What makes SOB really great is the billboards they have lining the highway for 200 miles before you even arrive there. There are 120 billboards, featuring their mascot Pedro and we decided we would read each and every one of them between Raleigh, NC and Dillon, SC...with a Mexican accent of course! I started and I got to read the signs as long as I didn't miss one. Once I became preoccupied and skipped one...my hubby got to read till he missed one. Silly...but fun when the signs read: "Pedro says: You never SAUSAGE a place" and "You're always a WEINER at Pedros". By the time you reach the exit...how can you NOT visit this place?

I just discovered that they offer a lovely wedding package there. Hmmmm, maybe for the renewing of our vows on our 10th anniversary?