I hosted a “women’s nite” this past weekend. This is something I do periodically and we always have a wonderful time. I was in a rather quiet mood Saturday night, so after everyone filled their plates with munchies and got settled onto our back porch, I just sat back to enjoy listening to the conversations.
Women are capable of carrying on multiple discussions at one time. There were eight of us and at one point I noticed we’d paired up and there were four separate topics being discussed. Even while conversing with my partner, I was still able to keep an ear chimed into what the other ladies were talking about.
As my brain registered the varying topics, I started laughing and pointed out to my women friends, how our gatherings have changed over the years. In our 20’s we had “girls nites”, where we’d usually go to a bar or a night club for drinks, to dance and check out the latest hunks. We’d usually close the place down.
In our 30’s we still did “girl’s nite” only now we had to be sure our husbands could watch the children and we usually met at a restaurant somewhere, although occasionally we’d go crazy and hit a club or local bar. The conversations usually centered on diaper rash, breast feeding, sex, play groups and our children’s various activities. The night would end fairly early, so we could either tuck the little ones in or just because we were too exhausted to stay out very late.
In our 40’s we had “ladies nite” and we almost always met at an upscale restaurant. Sometimes we’d go really crazy and catch a movie after our meal. During our meals, which usually included a couple of strong drinks, we talked about divorce, cheating husbands, being bored with our lives, troubles with our jobs, the angst of raising teenagers or the sorrow of suddenly having “empty nest” syndrome. We never seemed to want to go home, but our stamina wasn’t what it used to be so we usually parted company around 11p.m. or so.
In our 50’s, (my current group) we have lots of women’s gatherings and get-togethers, but every once in awhile we’ll have an evening at a friend’s house labeled “women’s nite”. We all bring food to share and the meet up never starts later than 7p.m. On occasion we play a game together, but normally we just sit around, relaxing, stuffing our faces and sharing the latest news. Our conversations seem to center on menopause, coping with grown children who have no respect for their parents, grandchildren, aches, pains, the latest in plastic surgery, fillers and Botox injections. We also enjoy telling ribald jokes, stories about our husband’s antics or discussing the joys of being unencumbered by a mate. Our finishing times vary from 10p.m. to midnight or so, depending on our medication regime, whether we still have to work full-time or our depression levels.
I can’t wait to see what happens in my 60’s, 70’s and 80’s. As long as there aren’t any red hats with purple clothing involved…I’ll be good!
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Thursday, September 2, 2010
COFFEE TIME PEOPLE WATCHING
There’s something very calming about going to a coffee house in the morning. I love the smell of the place as I walk in the door. I’m excited about my coffee choices and all the delightful ways in which I can enrich my coffee to fit my taste. It makes me feel a part of the human race to be standing there in line, waiting for my turn to present my order and start my day.
I visited Panera Bread a couple of mornings this week. Some of you may not think of Panera as a “coffeehouse”, but because I like a sweet pastry, of some sort, to go with my morning joe…I prefer their selection, to the rather limited selection at some of the more popular coffee places.
It was very interesting watching the “people of Panera” as they settled down for their morning treats. Some traveled in packs and you could tell by their attire they’d be headed to their jobs soon. A couple of caffeine infused business meetings, were taking place and a few solo corporate types floated in and out.
What I enjoyed most were the people who came to either work, read or merely wanted to get away from home, some with children in tow. The self-employed, unemployed, students or writers, tend to order coffee only and sit with their laptops open, staring at their screens, typing or scanning various websites. These are usually the 2-3 cups per stay people.
A few moms stopped in, deposited their children at tables with gooey breakfast sweets to keep them occupied, while the mothers sighed with relief as they took their first sip of “get me through the day stimulation.”
Men and women who came, as I did, merely to get out of the house for a bit and mingle with other morning people, brought either books, magazines or newspapers to read. I enjoyed watching the routines of some of these folks. Get coffee, get bagel, sit at table, spread cream cheese on bagel, adjust placement of food and drink articles on table, open reading material, take one look around dining area and finally begin perusing brain material.
Ahhhh, sweet nectar of a caffeine-aholic...I love spending time with my people. See you again soon!
I visited Panera Bread a couple of mornings this week. Some of you may not think of Panera as a “coffeehouse”, but because I like a sweet pastry, of some sort, to go with my morning joe…I prefer their selection, to the rather limited selection at some of the more popular coffee places.
It was very interesting watching the “people of Panera” as they settled down for their morning treats. Some traveled in packs and you could tell by their attire they’d be headed to their jobs soon. A couple of caffeine infused business meetings, were taking place and a few solo corporate types floated in and out.
What I enjoyed most were the people who came to either work, read or merely wanted to get away from home, some with children in tow. The self-employed, unemployed, students or writers, tend to order coffee only and sit with their laptops open, staring at their screens, typing or scanning various websites. These are usually the 2-3 cups per stay people.
A few moms stopped in, deposited their children at tables with gooey breakfast sweets to keep them occupied, while the mothers sighed with relief as they took their first sip of “get me through the day stimulation.”
Men and women who came, as I did, merely to get out of the house for a bit and mingle with other morning people, brought either books, magazines or newspapers to read. I enjoyed watching the routines of some of these folks. Get coffee, get bagel, sit at table, spread cream cheese on bagel, adjust placement of food and drink articles on table, open reading material, take one look around dining area and finally begin perusing brain material.
Ahhhh, sweet nectar of a caffeine-aholic...I love spending time with my people. See you again soon!
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
ONCE A PARENT...ALWAYS A PARENT
Do we ever stop being parents? I have two children, a son and a daughter. My son lives in Mountain City, TN and is in his 30’s…and I still worry about him periodically. My Daughter though, is my main source of concern. She is turning 23 next week and she has been very sick for the last couple of days. I, of course, being Mom, have lost sleep over her illness. Every horrible scenario, I could possibly think of, rushed through my head last night, while I was trying desperately to shut off my brain and snooze.
She’s always had stomach issues. We’ve been to doctor after doctor and had test after test run, but no one ever finds a significant reason for her upset tummies. Yesterday she couldn’t keep anything in her system and today she is still suffering.
I automatically go into “nurse mom” mode when she is ill: making toast, tea, hot pads for her back, taking her temperature, and cool compresses for her forehead. I’ll do anything to try to make her more comfortable.
The hardest part is the worrying though. I wonder if anyone has ever done a survey to see if people who never have children live longer lives? I have several very good friends, who are suffering through all sorts of situations with their grown children. I’ve come to the conclusion, that no matter what their age…our kids are our kids and we will always be their parents.
I just wish I could get a decent night’s sleep and stop this infernal anxiety, which always seems to settle in the pit of stomach, whenever I feel either of my children’s worlds are threatened in anyway.
Regardless, I have to admit, I wouldn’t change the role of motherhood for anything in the world. Both of my children have been a blessing from the day they were born and they continue to bless me every day. I’ll deal with my daughter’s present problem and then move on to the next one. It seems never ending, but so is my love for her!
She’s always had stomach issues. We’ve been to doctor after doctor and had test after test run, but no one ever finds a significant reason for her upset tummies. Yesterday she couldn’t keep anything in her system and today she is still suffering.
I automatically go into “nurse mom” mode when she is ill: making toast, tea, hot pads for her back, taking her temperature, and cool compresses for her forehead. I’ll do anything to try to make her more comfortable.
The hardest part is the worrying though. I wonder if anyone has ever done a survey to see if people who never have children live longer lives? I have several very good friends, who are suffering through all sorts of situations with their grown children. I’ve come to the conclusion, that no matter what their age…our kids are our kids and we will always be their parents.
I just wish I could get a decent night’s sleep and stop this infernal anxiety, which always seems to settle in the pit of stomach, whenever I feel either of my children’s worlds are threatened in anyway.
Regardless, I have to admit, I wouldn’t change the role of motherhood for anything in the world. Both of my children have been a blessing from the day they were born and they continue to bless me every day. I’ll deal with my daughter’s present problem and then move on to the next one. It seems never ending, but so is my love for her!
Monday, August 23, 2010
BROTHERLY LOVE
I don't believe an accident of birth makes people sisters or brothers. It makes them siblings, gives them mutuality of parentage. Sisterhood and brotherhood is a condition people have to work at.
-- Maya Angelou
I love this quote, especially because my brothers and I didn’t grow up together. Due to an alcoholic father, we were scattered about by Social Services, in different homes around our community. We are all four years apart, so our age discrepancies also played a big part in our not feeling close to one another. We were merely “siblings” growing up, but as we age…as we each have passed the 50 year old mark, I find that we are reaching out to each other, in a way we never did before.
I was lucky enough to get to spend time with all four of my brothers this past weekend. We gathered for a cookout, at one of the twins homes, in Myrtle Beach. They seem to know so much more about each other’s lives than I do. It was fun to sit and listen to them reminisce and learn more about the way in which they have grown and changed through the years.
After just losing my job…the closeness of this family reunion warmed my heart and brought me pure joy. The graying hair, the furrowed brows and deep wrinkles, the extra weight we’ve all gained through the years, made our meeting even more precious. As I sat looking at each of these marvelous men and realized how far each of us have come in our lives and the obstacles we have had to overcome to get to where we are today, my pride swelled.
Right now, I have two brothers living in Myrtle Beach. Another one will be moving down there within a year and then hopefully the fourth will follow soon afterward. I’m hoping for many more “sibling reunions” once we are all gathered in one area. Yes, we are growing closer, but we are also growing older and as we age I realize that our years to enjoy time together are numbered, so I want to savor each moment and honor the fact that we are “family”.
-- Maya Angelou
I love this quote, especially because my brothers and I didn’t grow up together. Due to an alcoholic father, we were scattered about by Social Services, in different homes around our community. We are all four years apart, so our age discrepancies also played a big part in our not feeling close to one another. We were merely “siblings” growing up, but as we age…as we each have passed the 50 year old mark, I find that we are reaching out to each other, in a way we never did before.
I was lucky enough to get to spend time with all four of my brothers this past weekend. We gathered for a cookout, at one of the twins homes, in Myrtle Beach. They seem to know so much more about each other’s lives than I do. It was fun to sit and listen to them reminisce and learn more about the way in which they have grown and changed through the years.
After just losing my job…the closeness of this family reunion warmed my heart and brought me pure joy. The graying hair, the furrowed brows and deep wrinkles, the extra weight we’ve all gained through the years, made our meeting even more precious. As I sat looking at each of these marvelous men and realized how far each of us have come in our lives and the obstacles we have had to overcome to get to where we are today, my pride swelled.
Right now, I have two brothers living in Myrtle Beach. Another one will be moving down there within a year and then hopefully the fourth will follow soon afterward. I’m hoping for many more “sibling reunions” once we are all gathered in one area. Yes, we are growing closer, but we are also growing older and as we age I realize that our years to enjoy time together are numbered, so I want to savor each moment and honor the fact that we are “family”.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
UNEMPLOYED...AGAIN
I’m unemployed again. I was let go from work at noon on Friday. I'm trying to stay upbeat about it...hated the job anyway, they were a bunch of jerks, depressing place to work, I would have looked for something else eventually...but even with all that...it is still such a horrible blow and makes me feel tainted somehow and unworthy. Other than the lay-off I suffered in January 2009, I have never been dismissed from a job.
I wasn’t given any concrete reason. I didn’t steal anything, get on the internet, talk on the phone incessantly, arrive late, go home early, take long three martini lunches…none of that. The only thing they would say was…”you’re just not the right fit.”
When I started, they hadn’t had a permanent Admin for over six months. They advertised this job three times before finally hiring someone…me. I worked so hard at getting everything in that office running like a fine oiled tool and now someone else will reap all those benefits. I was given no training, never told exactly what my duties were or how to implement them. The next person won’t have to suffer as I did because I put together an Office Procedures manual that outlines every little thing that needs to be done and how to do it. I had to research and find out all this information for myself, with no help from the Raleigh office. All my answers I got from the corporate office in Massachusetts.
Even realizing that this company has gone through Office Assistants, like wild fire the past two years, I still took this job and I thought I'd be the "one". Oh well, guess I was the "one", but just another "one". Another one kicked to the curb.
I am really trying not to let this get me down and to push past the feelings of rejection and anger, but it’s a hard pill to swallow. It sure was nice having that paycheck for a few brief weeks. Tightening the purse strings again! Onward and upward…………
I wasn’t given any concrete reason. I didn’t steal anything, get on the internet, talk on the phone incessantly, arrive late, go home early, take long three martini lunches…none of that. The only thing they would say was…”you’re just not the right fit.”
When I started, they hadn’t had a permanent Admin for over six months. They advertised this job three times before finally hiring someone…me. I worked so hard at getting everything in that office running like a fine oiled tool and now someone else will reap all those benefits. I was given no training, never told exactly what my duties were or how to implement them. The next person won’t have to suffer as I did because I put together an Office Procedures manual that outlines every little thing that needs to be done and how to do it. I had to research and find out all this information for myself, with no help from the Raleigh office. All my answers I got from the corporate office in Massachusetts.
Even realizing that this company has gone through Office Assistants, like wild fire the past two years, I still took this job and I thought I'd be the "one". Oh well, guess I was the "one", but just another "one". Another one kicked to the curb.
I am really trying not to let this get me down and to push past the feelings of rejection and anger, but it’s a hard pill to swallow. It sure was nice having that paycheck for a few brief weeks. Tightening the purse strings again! Onward and upward…………
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
TIME TO WRITE AGAIN..........
It’s been a long time since I’ve blogged. I’m working now and I’m so exhausted when I get home that I don’t have the energy to be witty, creative or entertaining. I do miss sharing though and the process of writing always warms my heart, so I’ve decided that I need to “suck it up” and start producing again.
Two of my brothers came for a visit this past weekend. I haven’t seen them for several years. One of them is battling lung cancer and although, to others, he may look strong, I could see the toll this horrible disease is taking on him. He never complained while he was here and kept apologizing for cutting outings short and needing to rest. I was hiding my tears. I admire him so much for the efforts he is making in fighting his way through this.
Both brothers have left and headed to Myrtle Beach to visit with our other two brothers. This weekend I will be heading out to join all of them. My brother with the cancer wanted this reunion. He feels like this might be the last time he’ll get to see all of us. This will be the first time in about 15 years that we have all been together and we weren’t attending a funeral.
Due to circumstances in our upbringing, we are not a close knit group, but we do love each other in our own way. As we all grow older, I find that we seem to be seeking out the solace and the comfort that comes from knowing that you have family out there sharing the world with you. I look forward to seeing everyone and I pray that my brother will win his battle and that we will soon have another gathering celebrating him being cancer free.
Two of my brothers came for a visit this past weekend. I haven’t seen them for several years. One of them is battling lung cancer and although, to others, he may look strong, I could see the toll this horrible disease is taking on him. He never complained while he was here and kept apologizing for cutting outings short and needing to rest. I was hiding my tears. I admire him so much for the efforts he is making in fighting his way through this.
Both brothers have left and headed to Myrtle Beach to visit with our other two brothers. This weekend I will be heading out to join all of them. My brother with the cancer wanted this reunion. He feels like this might be the last time he’ll get to see all of us. This will be the first time in about 15 years that we have all been together and we weren’t attending a funeral.
Due to circumstances in our upbringing, we are not a close knit group, but we do love each other in our own way. As we all grow older, I find that we seem to be seeking out the solace and the comfort that comes from knowing that you have family out there sharing the world with you. I look forward to seeing everyone and I pray that my brother will win his battle and that we will soon have another gathering celebrating him being cancer free.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
A sore throat...really? Four days before starting a new job I wake up with a swollen gland and sore throat. Is this God's idea of a joke? After 18 months of being unemployed...I will NOT start my new job sick.
I am armed with orange juice, Vitamin C pills and Vicks. I rub the Vicks on my throat, wrap it with a towel and it usually will take care of that sore gland in one day. If I'm not 100% tomorrow, it's off to the doctor's office!
Gonna brew a cup of tea, get the Vicks spread on me and take it easy today!
I am armed with orange juice, Vitamin C pills and Vicks. I rub the Vicks on my throat, wrap it with a towel and it usually will take care of that sore gland in one day. If I'm not 100% tomorrow, it's off to the doctor's office!
Gonna brew a cup of tea, get the Vicks spread on me and take it easy today!
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