OMG...almost had a heart attack this morning. I woke up to NO cable and NO internet! Panic!! I felt so cut off from the world, so helpless, frustrated and pissed at the cable company. I called their office, but couldn't get thru cause a recording told me I had to call during "office hours" which started at 5a.m. and it was 7:35 when I called. WTH??? Now I was really concerned. I mean what if aliens had arrived during the night while we were sleeping and stole all our cable signals. I called friends and family..."do you have cable?" Everyone did...except us...or so I thought. It had become personal, until I called our next door neighbors and was so relieved when they told me they didn't have any signals either. WHEW! At least the extra-terrestrials weren't just after me. I found a different number for the cable company and a wonderful recording told me it was an outage in our area and they were working on it and should have us back up and running by 8a.m. Breathe, breathe...disaster averted.
How addicted to electronics are we? Almost all of the agents I am contacting accept only emailed queries now. If I'm not connected to the internet...how could I send them anything? How could I research the agents I'm considering without internet? How could I find out about writing contests? How could I find out about possible freelance assignments? How could I Facebook???? Yeeee gads! I'm starting to sweat again just thinking about it. Breathe, breathe.......
I actually wanted to blog about something else today, but I'll save it till tomorrow. I need to get a stiff drink right now...oh wait it's only 9:15? Oh what the heck............
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
RE-ORGANIZING
No hablo Espanol...and that about covers it. My interview that I was so excited about yesterday was a bust. Why? Because the employer failed to state in their ad that they wanted someone who was bilingual. The interview was going great to begin with. The place was shabby and they'd never had an Admin, but I was more than willing to deal with that. I would have been the only estrogen based human in the place...but I was even willing to put up with all that testosterone...if it meant making some decent money. Things went down hill though in the middle of the meeting when I was asked if I spoke Spanish. Uh...no and I don't intend to. I'm just not interested at my age in trying to learn a new language. I'm still of the mind-set...if you want to truly "belong" in this country and contribute and hold a job then you should learn OUR language...not the other way around. So...no "jobo for meo".
I am re-energized toward my writing this morning. I got all the various manuscripts out that I've been working on and I am determined to start treating this as my full-time employment. I am starting with my blog this morning and will proceed with lining up more possible agents for Deadly Letters and looking through some of my older things to see if there is something that I can submit to either newspapers or magazines.
I am a huge fan of "So You Think You Can Dance" and last night I watched our latest recorded episode. I was really inspired by all the dancers who were cut and then just said they would keep dancing, get better and try again next year. I give up too easily. It's a major fault in my personality, so I will be working on fixing this flaw in the next few months.
Andale, andale, ariba, ariba..............
I am re-energized toward my writing this morning. I got all the various manuscripts out that I've been working on and I am determined to start treating this as my full-time employment. I am starting with my blog this morning and will proceed with lining up more possible agents for Deadly Letters and looking through some of my older things to see if there is something that I can submit to either newspapers or magazines.
I am a huge fan of "So You Think You Can Dance" and last night I watched our latest recorded episode. I was really inspired by all the dancers who were cut and then just said they would keep dancing, get better and try again next year. I give up too easily. It's a major fault in my personality, so I will be working on fixing this flaw in the next few months.
Andale, andale, ariba, ariba..............
Monday, October 12, 2009
JOB PROSPECT
Today I have my first actual job interview since I was laid off January 22nd. I am nervous, excited, semi-confident and just a wee bit scared. A job interview for me, in the past, always meant...if I wanted the job...I had the job. There might have been 10 or 15 people applying for the same job, but I interview well....so, if I wanted the job I was interviewing for...I got it. These days though there are 300-400 people applying for the same job. I'm in awe of even getting a chance to interview. I drove to the office address Sunday when we got back from the beach. I wanted to be sure I didn't get lost and arrive late today. In fact, I will allow myself an extra 15 minutes to get there. If I'm early, I will park around the corner till 9:55 and then go to the location, so I arrive approximately 5 minutes early.
I am always friendly to the receptionist. I used to be a receptionist and trust me...when you leave...she WILL give her opinion of you...and trust me...her opinion will carry a lot of weight.
When I enter the office, I look the interviewer straight in the eye and continue to make eye contact through out the interview. I don't want "stare" at him/her, but I do look them in the eye periodically so they feel they can trust me. Besides there is nothing that connects two people more than looking each other in the eye...and I do want him/her to feel a connection to me.
I always have some questions ready for the interviewer. If possible I look the company up on the internet so I know something about them. When the interview is done...I stand and shake the interviewer's hand and again make that eye contact...thank him/her for their time and consideration. I ask them for one of their business cards and then leave...I don't linger fidgeting, like I don't know what to do.
If the job is something I feel I'd really like then I wait a day and then send a quick thank you to the person who interviewed me and then all I can do is sit back and wait and hope for either a second interview or a confirmation that I got the job.
All of these little tricks have served me very well in the past...in this economic time I am praying that they still will.
BTW...if I DON'T want the job...I will just fail to do all of the above and trust me...I NEVER get a call back. Unless the interviewer today decides to "interview" my boobs and not me...then I intend to do my very best to secure this position. Wish me luck!
I am always friendly to the receptionist. I used to be a receptionist and trust me...when you leave...she WILL give her opinion of you...and trust me...her opinion will carry a lot of weight.
When I enter the office, I look the interviewer straight in the eye and continue to make eye contact through out the interview. I don't want "stare" at him/her, but I do look them in the eye periodically so they feel they can trust me. Besides there is nothing that connects two people more than looking each other in the eye...and I do want him/her to feel a connection to me.
I always have some questions ready for the interviewer. If possible I look the company up on the internet so I know something about them. When the interview is done...I stand and shake the interviewer's hand and again make that eye contact...thank him/her for their time and consideration. I ask them for one of their business cards and then leave...I don't linger fidgeting, like I don't know what to do.
If the job is something I feel I'd really like then I wait a day and then send a quick thank you to the person who interviewed me and then all I can do is sit back and wait and hope for either a second interview or a confirmation that I got the job.
All of these little tricks have served me very well in the past...in this economic time I am praying that they still will.
BTW...if I DON'T want the job...I will just fail to do all of the above and trust me...I NEVER get a call back. Unless the interviewer today decides to "interview" my boobs and not me...then I intend to do my very best to secure this position. Wish me luck!
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
LOSING MY MIND
Last night I lost my mind...and I don't mean figuratively. I'm not sure exactly what happened, but at some point during the evening from what my husband tells me I got angry and upset about something. I went upstairs. He found me later lying on the bed, crying and not knowing where I was. Of course a trip to the ER ensued. That part is very hazy to me this morning. I still don't remember going up the stairs, lying on the bed, coming back down with Brad's help or the trip to the ER.
I do know when we got to the ER he was asking me a lot of questions that I couldn't remember the answers to. I couldn't remember if I had a job, if I had friends...who those friends were. Slowly things started to get clearer and I calmed down. After a nice long, long, long wait in the ER I begged him to take me home. We arrived back at the house around 2a.m. and I will go see my regular doctor today.
So I think I have officially lost my mind. Stress can kill that's for sure. Between unemployment, trying to break into the writing world, financial problems and just life in general...my poor little brain didn't stand a chance.
Hopefully tomorrow I will be good to go again, but if I'm not on this blog for a day or two...well you understand dear followers.
I do know when we got to the ER he was asking me a lot of questions that I couldn't remember the answers to. I couldn't remember if I had a job, if I had friends...who those friends were. Slowly things started to get clearer and I calmed down. After a nice long, long, long wait in the ER I begged him to take me home. We arrived back at the house around 2a.m. and I will go see my regular doctor today.
So I think I have officially lost my mind. Stress can kill that's for sure. Between unemployment, trying to break into the writing world, financial problems and just life in general...my poor little brain didn't stand a chance.
Hopefully tomorrow I will be good to go again, but if I'm not on this blog for a day or two...well you understand dear followers.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
TRASH
It never ceases to surprise me when someone comments on how "together" I am. I am such an insecure individual it borders on the ridiculous. I was told from the young age of six that I would never amount to anything and would always just be "gutter tripe"...and a part of my psyche believed that. I've worked my entire life to overcome these uncertainties about myself as a human being and although I've made great progress...thanks to the help of some amazing, wonderful friends I've had over the years...I am still not to the point where I can brag on myself.
To be a successful writer...especially in this day and age...you need to be able to promote yourself. You need to truly believe that you are a talent just waiting to be discovered and you need to portray yourself as something as good as chocolate truffles that won't make you gain an ounce. I freeze too easily in the face of negativity. Over and over again I read in books about becoming a published author that you must have thick skin. Where do I purchase one of those thick skin suits, cause it sure would be worth the investment?
I read things that others have written and gotten published and I'm in awe. Some of it is pure crap and yet I know those people had something I lack..."self confidence". I may not show the doubt I have in myself and my abilities...but they are there and when I'm alone my head hurts from trying not to dwell on them and yet not being able to shut off that little voice in my head saying, "you are trash and you will never amount to anything."
How do I do that? I need to move on with submitting my completed manuscript to agents. So what if two of them rejected it...there are hundreds more I can submit to...but my fear is choking me up. Today...I will have to work on trying to loosen the strangle hold the demons inside me seem to have produced in my life and figure out a way to truly believe I AM A WRITER and that I can get published! Wish me luck................
To be a successful writer...especially in this day and age...you need to be able to promote yourself. You need to truly believe that you are a talent just waiting to be discovered and you need to portray yourself as something as good as chocolate truffles that won't make you gain an ounce. I freeze too easily in the face of negativity. Over and over again I read in books about becoming a published author that you must have thick skin. Where do I purchase one of those thick skin suits, cause it sure would be worth the investment?
I read things that others have written and gotten published and I'm in awe. Some of it is pure crap and yet I know those people had something I lack..."self confidence". I may not show the doubt I have in myself and my abilities...but they are there and when I'm alone my head hurts from trying not to dwell on them and yet not being able to shut off that little voice in my head saying, "you are trash and you will never amount to anything."
How do I do that? I need to move on with submitting my completed manuscript to agents. So what if two of them rejected it...there are hundreds more I can submit to...but my fear is choking me up. Today...I will have to work on trying to loosen the strangle hold the demons inside me seem to have produced in my life and figure out a way to truly believe I AM A WRITER and that I can get published! Wish me luck................
Thursday, September 24, 2009
BOUNDARIES
I've posted 60 blogs so far. Today is number 61. I'm proud of myself for sticking to this and a huge thanks to all of you who have signed on as followers...even if you don't read it, so you'll never see this. Thanks also to those of you who have not only signed on, but leave me comments periodically either on this site or via my email address. I love and appreciate each and every one of you. You are true friends.
Writing is a messy business. I can't remember the last time I saw my diningroom table without papers scattered all over it, flash drives lying about, reference books piled high, pens, pencils and yet for some reason...I still have the placemats on the table. But I'm using the placemats. One for my laptop, one for the box with my completed manuscript, one for books, one for mailing envelopes, even one for writing tools along with pads of paper. I think it's funny that I don't have anything sitting on the table unless it's on a placemat. No free-range writing paraphernalia.
I wonder when the "placemat" was first used. It's such a nice item for defining space. Before the placement there was just the great big tablecloth. What kept your knife and fork in your designated table area? What was to keep it from creeping over into your partner's area? How did we really know whose drink was whose? Dah, Dah...enter the PLACEMAT! No longer is it a problem telling what area of the diningroom table belongs to whom. Now your area is mapped out for you...marked out with clear boundaries. Any part of the table that doesn't have a placemat is open range. These spots are for things we want to share with others. But the placemat in front of me...that's mine, all mine. Don't cross my placemat line to grab food from my plate or borrow a utensil. If I wish to share...I will hand you the item in question...otherwise...stay back! This is my spot!
I hate round or square placemats. Who the heck came up with that idea? There's not enough room on one of those things for me to keep all my stuff on it. If I have a placemat I want it to be rectangular...a large rectangle is best. Room for my plates, cup, utensils and napkin. My little world...Deblandia. Welcome to my world...by invitation only.
Okay...back to serious writing...coming to you from my laptop, sitting nicely in the middle of my placemat, atop my messy diningroom table.
Writing is a messy business. I can't remember the last time I saw my diningroom table without papers scattered all over it, flash drives lying about, reference books piled high, pens, pencils and yet for some reason...I still have the placemats on the table. But I'm using the placemats. One for my laptop, one for the box with my completed manuscript, one for books, one for mailing envelopes, even one for writing tools along with pads of paper. I think it's funny that I don't have anything sitting on the table unless it's on a placemat. No free-range writing paraphernalia.
I wonder when the "placemat" was first used. It's such a nice item for defining space. Before the placement there was just the great big tablecloth. What kept your knife and fork in your designated table area? What was to keep it from creeping over into your partner's area? How did we really know whose drink was whose? Dah, Dah...enter the PLACEMAT! No longer is it a problem telling what area of the diningroom table belongs to whom. Now your area is mapped out for you...marked out with clear boundaries. Any part of the table that doesn't have a placemat is open range. These spots are for things we want to share with others. But the placemat in front of me...that's mine, all mine. Don't cross my placemat line to grab food from my plate or borrow a utensil. If I wish to share...I will hand you the item in question...otherwise...stay back! This is my spot!
I hate round or square placemats. Who the heck came up with that idea? There's not enough room on one of those things for me to keep all my stuff on it. If I have a placemat I want it to be rectangular...a large rectangle is best. Room for my plates, cup, utensils and napkin. My little world...Deblandia. Welcome to my world...by invitation only.
Okay...back to serious writing...coming to you from my laptop, sitting nicely in the middle of my placemat, atop my messy diningroom table.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
"CRITICAL" REPORT
I didn't do one blessed thing yesterday as far as writing goes. Very short "accomplishments" list for the day. Very disappointed in myself. I MUST do better today.
I did discover a wonderful cure for insomnia though, this past weekend. The Informant starring Matt Damon. Wow, what a snooze fest this movie is. It's basically just a lot of blah, blah, blah...over half way through the movie you "get it" but by then...I'd really lost interest. There are a couple of snicker funny parts in it, but no laugh out loud moments. Too many "guarded looks" going on between the actors, conversations are basically on a monotone level and well...that did make for some great sleeping! I'm thinking about buying it when it comes out on DVD and then plugging it in on those nights when my brain just doesn't want to shut down and I'm sure to get a peaceful nights sleep.
Considering it was based on a true story, it had the potential to be really good, but definitely fell short of it's goal.
I did discover a wonderful cure for insomnia though, this past weekend. The Informant starring Matt Damon. Wow, what a snooze fest this movie is. It's basically just a lot of blah, blah, blah...over half way through the movie you "get it" but by then...I'd really lost interest. There are a couple of snicker funny parts in it, but no laugh out loud moments. Too many "guarded looks" going on between the actors, conversations are basically on a monotone level and well...that did make for some great sleeping! I'm thinking about buying it when it comes out on DVD and then plugging it in on those nights when my brain just doesn't want to shut down and I'm sure to get a peaceful nights sleep.
Considering it was based on a true story, it had the potential to be really good, but definitely fell short of it's goal.
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